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Look At Me And You Will See You

Updated: Jan 3, 2019

I am not my own.

Look carefully at my life and you will see that it is made up of parts of every experience and every person that I have encountered in my life.

Now, I wish I had gotten someone else's nice full butt, and maybe not-soo-much of my chubby belly, but that is how God made me so I'm good with that.

My style, my thoughts, my personality... are all the way they are because of deep pain, struggle, & challenges in my past as well as, admiration of someone else's style, thoughts, and personality which I try to emulate.

We truly are all one:

As my Yoga teacher, Alexa Rapier, says at the conclusion of each session of our Yoga Practice:

"Peace. Inlakesh(I am you). Alaken(You are me), Namaste."

Then we do a Galaxy Walk for "we are all one."

My parents and grandmother raised me to be kind, thoughtful, fun, sexy, wild, fierce. But so did all my life experiences: at least 10 controlling/jealous boyfriends, job changes, verbally abusive teachers, being teased for how I looked (by both some teachers and some fellow classmates in high school.

But I do not hold anything against any of these abusive/cruel people, because my life is not my own. My journey through the darkest of days makes me the person I am today and I am thankful. Yes, truly thankful, to have had those darkest of days. Here are 3 quotes I love to remember during tough times:

1. "The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming."-DENT; The Dark Knight)

2. "You must taste the sour, to enjoy the sweet."-my Grandma Lee(fellow handbag lover)

3. "This is life. We have good times, then we have bad times. Then, the good times will come again."-My Poppa. This is what he said after I asked him why he and Mom were having such an exhausting time taking care of Grandma Lee for the 6 years before the end of her beautiful full life)

My husband Jacky with his Dad on a beach in Miami circa 1961.

So never commit suicide. You just never know when that time will finally come, when you will finally get that much-needed breath-of-air that lets you breathe again....and also takes you to the most beautiful breathtaking view of life that you have ever seen. Don't miss it.

God loves each of us personally and too much to let us end our lives alone.

So, flash-back to 9 years of age...Thank you Jean Terry Cullen. Thank you Jean for being that "weird" best friend/neighbor back when I was 9 years old, that took me to this thing called a church, got me involved, let me laugh at her doing her "Bible devotional time" during our sleep-overs. Because of you I discovered a God that cares about me personally, who made me for a purpose to be on this Earth.

And in response to His amazing & wild Love for me, I came to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ. and instantly, without any merit of my own, became a daughter of The King of Kings and Lord of Lords. My Lord Jesus is the best thing I have in this life and I am nothing without Him. The joy I have in my heart is here to stay and nothing in Heaven or on Earth or below the Earth can take that away from me. And if you think I'm looking kind of twinkly, you are just seeing Christ's Light shining through me.

"The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms."-Deuteronomy 33:27 (often quoted by the late Elisabeth Elliot(1926-2015)

So as always, Look with Intention. There are always Tiny Twinkly Lights

XO, Jen

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1 Comment

Jan 27, 2019

Jennifer - Really a thoughtful and well-written post. Thank you for sharing!

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