"Come on, Let's go and play"...
Go away, Anna
Taken from the Disney movie, "Frozen", I love to sing this popular song. Thinking about the lyrics more, I ask myself:
Why is she wanting her big sister, Elsa, so much to build a snowman with her? Why doesn't she just ask some of her friends living in the next castle up the street to build one with her? Why doesn't she just do one herself already?
To answer this, takes looking at little Anna's Motivation.
Do we as human beings build snowmen together just so that people passing by on their sleighs have something cute to look at, or... do we build snowmen in order to accomplish something much more?
As with everything else in life, maturity takes time:
Starting into private practice OB/GYN at the age of 29, I was not mature. I did not understand why we had to have early 7am meetings at work instead of a mass email or memo sent to us that explained everything that we had to discuss in that early..EARLY.. morning meeting. So, groggily and always late, I stumbled into our departmental meetings with a very bad attitude.
Fast forward 20 years, and now I see that some things are better accomplished in meetings so that we can meet face-to-face. There is much less miscommunication in face-to-face meetings with each other than the misunderstandings that can occur in electronic forms of communication (emails or text messages) which include no facial expressions or voice intonations of the sender.
So if companies and places of employment find this way of communication to be more superior than by way of electronic text messages or emails, it only seems logical why Anna wanted to build a snowman with her big sister, Elsa. Sure, as a 3-year-old child, she probably just liked snow and building snowmen, but even more so, she was missing her big sister Elsa and knew there was more that Elsa couldn't talk about.
So in her own 3-year-old-way, she called a "meeting" with her sister, Elsa:
(knocking on the door)
"Elsa? Do you want to build a snowman? Come on, let's go and play! I never see you anymore, Come out the door. It's like you've gone away. We used to be best buddies, And now we're not. I wish you would tell me why! Do you want to build a snowman?"
As those of you with teenagers or children know, once you sit down together for dinner at a table with no TV or electronic devices, the conversation starts to flow and it is indeed so rich and wonderful!
My Mom's rule at meal times was that if there were two or more people eating together, we had to turn off the TV. It is one of the best tips that I learned from her that has helped keep our family close.
It is a beautiful thing when we start to connect.
I used to roll my eyes, when I would get a message at work stating that so-and-so wanted to meet over lunch or dinner to discuss business.
I would say, "C'mon! Why don't they just discuss it over the phone with me. I don't have time!"
Looking back, I cringe at my immaturity in human relationships. Those people were trying to build connection with me and I shut MANY down.
As I have matured, I see now why discussing business face-to-face or over a meal is so much more effective. You get to see, really see, what a person cares about. Even if it is a sales person, I always learn something from them.
So, build a snowman with whoever you happen to run into today. Whether it is just someone in an elevator with you going up one floor, or someone waiting in line with you waiting to pick up their dog from the groomer. Say "Hi" and ask them how they are doing. And really care about what they are saying. Not just with their mouths, but look at their eyes.
It's ok, if you try for the first time to make a connection with someone and that person happens to be an "Elsa", or super-grouchy, like I can be sometimes, and they don't want to connect with you.
At least they know that they are not invisible to the world, and that they mattered to at least one person...you.
So don't be afraid to make a connection.
And that interaction with you alone may inspire them enough to feel like building a snowman with someone else in the future.
It is our world after all.
As always...Look with Intention for those Tiny Twinkly Lights